Thursday, April 29, 2010

I guess you reach a point, eventually, when you just want to be the person you know you are inside. Not all the different people others know- the person YOU know. I know a lot of things about myself- good and bad, nice and not so nice. And I want to take my time in this season coming up to BE. I want to take my time reading a book and knitting a sweater. I want to start 20 projects and finish them little by little. I want to spend hours on the beach just watching the waves. I want to SLOW DOWN and not feel driven by the lists I make in my head. I want to putter. In the house, in my studio, in the garden. If the Master List Of Things That Need To Be Done gets items scratched off or checked- good. If it doesn't happen- it doesn't happen.
I promise to keep my house clean enough that you don't need to worry if I bake you something. And I'll go to work every day I'm supposed to. And I'll blow the World's Biggest Bubbles with Noah and Zoe. And I'll decide to go to the beach by myself with just a chair and a bottle of water and a good book on the spur of the moment. I'll walk more, because I want to. I'll eat more veggies, because I want to. And if I want to have popcorn for dinner- I'll do that, too!

I have been knitting a lot. I love the way I can knit and also be with everyone. For so many years, I made quilts, and something about my process of making quilts kept me isolated from my family- I guess I needed space. But now that the kids are gone, and there's no guilt stopping me from spending as many hours as I want in my studio- I find myself making a nest for myself on the couch- with one or two knitting projects at hand. And Walter on the other end of the couch, telling me stories. Or visiting with my kids and grandkids and finishing up a shawl (simply knit only- I can't talk and do hard stuff at the same time!)I love the connection to my mom and the other women in my life, the generations of women who made things of function and beauty for their loved ones. And I love the way knitting allows me to be PRESENT and still busy. I feel wrapped in the love and goodness of people like Mrs Van ( my best friend's mom), my father's mother, my aunt Sis, my cousin Ann, my mother-in-law, Jackie.

I will grow with this particular needleart for a long time. So much to learn!! And so many new friends to make on this learning journey. I love going to my knitting group- a collection of smart, witty women who read and knit and who view the world the same way I do. We teach each other and go home energized, and usually a little less confused by whatever aspect of our knitting is challenging at the moment.

I am taking an online class from Jude Hill. I am very excited about this. I have never taken an online class- and that in itself will be a bit challenging. This is an embroidery class, I guess you would have to say. About embellishing and producing 'slow fabric' that has a dream-like quality that really appeals to me. I know that I will learn a lot, and be challenged to create something that speaks of me- but I haven't got a clue about how this will unfold.

I know I'm not very good about posting frequently. I'd like to do better- but I will only say that if the time is right- I will post. I don't want this sharing to be another bullet on the Master List of Things To Do. So, my dear friends- take what you can from this- leave the rest- and savor the moments you have, big and small- treasure the people in your world, and use your creative spirit- to make a perfect cup of tea, or the mug to hold it in. Just USE it!